another week in cold grey nj

1-29 Last night (Sun night) I grabbed a salad at Villa Rosa and went home. I was upset that I could not see Sara. Genie had a headache and fell asleep after work so she did not call until after 5pm. By that time I was back in Ewing getting my salad.

I got two videos at the library so I started watching ‘High Roller, the Stu Ungar story’ while eating. Then I was working around the house doing more insulation. It’s a big job but I should be done in the next week. I am doing a complete job on all the windows.

I also worked on the computer last night. I could not sleep so I finished the movie and then I was up late on the computer. There was a little bit of snow also. This morning when I woke up there was ice on the road on snow/ice on my car so I went back to sleep and drove in at 8:30.

1-30 Last night (Mon night) I watched ‘The Battle Over Citizen Kane’ which is on disc two of the ‘Citizen Kane’ DVD while eating. Then I took a nap and when I got up the rest of the night was spent insulating the house (a big job, which is ongoing) and organizing some stuff and working on the computer.

I went to sleep after 12am and I got up today at 5pm. I feel fine, not tired. I talked to Sara on the phone last night and she told me that she fell on the ice today and she cried. She told me that ‘Mom was inside getting the keys and I fell, and I just sat there and I cried, then I went inside and took of my pants and gloves and stuff, and ran upstairs into my room and put my face in the pillow and cried, well, actually I didn’t cry because I could not breathe in there’.. (or something to that effect). It was cute. I told her that she needs to cry less as she gets older. She told me that she was growing up and that ‘kids do that when they are growing up’.

Tuesday night was nothing special, just more of the same. I stayed up late doing the same stuff in the house (insulating, and computer stuff). I listened to ‘Alien Lanes, by Guided By Voices’ at full volume. You gotta do that sometimes.

I did not sleep until after 1am. Wednesday I only worked six hours and then went to pay my taxes and got a haircut. It was surprising how long my hair has gotten. I got it thinned out and cut a little but it still looks pretty much just as long, maybe a little neater. It won’t be long like this forever so I am just letting it get long right now for the heck of it.

I watched ‘The Battle Over Citizen Kane’ again. Orson was a strange guy. I dubbed the first disc of Saturday Night Live and a live Velvet Underground show. I went to the library. I played guitar for 30 minutes or so. I fiddled around the house. I got a nice salad for dinner with some store made meatloaf and had a good dinner.

I was tired, I slept well. Today is Thursday and I am at work. I am thinking that I did not get much done this week so far. Working really takes up the bulk of my time and energy. I gave this job a year of my energy (March 13 will be one year here). After that I am getting my energy back. I promise myself. I know I can do it and I feel like I am close to the breaking point. I don’t want to quit and be poor but at the same time I have to much to do. I won’t quit my job but at the same time I know I won’t be here forever. I am just letting things happen naturally at this time. If a layoff comes along, so be it. This job will probably lay me off and I am just wondering what direction my life will go in after that. I really am not sure. I know I won’t be here at this job forever. I probably won’t make it here until the end of this year. So my life is a question mark in many ways.

I received Ikuko Harada’s ‘Piano’ CD in the mail yesterday. I played it and it sounded great. She is great. Tonight I will take Sara and Genie to Disney On Ice at the Sovereign Bank Arena in Trenton. I did not get myself a ticket. I wanted to save some money this time of year. I wish I was going but I made the decision a few weeks ago when I got the tickets to save the money. I will go next time. They come at least once per year. I want to drive them there and pick them up so it still feels like we are all together and I get to hear Sara tell me all about it right after the show. She will be excited and that will be great to be with her right before and right after.

I found some more cool Utada Hikaru and Judy and Mary video clips on youtube today. I have been discovering these artists and there is really some great stuff out there by them and others. Youtube makes it easy to check out artists quickly. You gotta love the net.

chapter titles

Ok so I finally will go forward with writing about my past life. I thought of a way to go about it. I will make a huge list of topics (chapters). They will not really be chapters but I will call them that. A better term might be ‘topics’. But I will list them as I think of them and then go back and actually fill in the text. Much of this will be painful for me. Because I miss my parents so much and looking back on memories is not always easy. I am at Panera, I stopped here for a cup of joe amongst todays errands.

Ok here goes, chapters:

Colonial Lanes and Parkside Diner.
Parfait House and China Garden.
Camp Sunapee.
Hostess Cake.

Hole in the Middle records.
Captain Fantastic.
Don’t shoot me and Uncle Lou’s 8-track stereo.
That’s all for now. I am not in the mood to sit here at Panera today. I am trying to contact Genie but I am having no luck. I don’t know if Sara has girl scouts today or not. I want to see her and give her back her iPod also.

quiet sunday

Yesterday Sara and Genie came over around 3pm. We just went and got food and Sara wanted to watch ‘Full House’ DVD’s. That show is hard for me to take, but it was fun to watch Sara laughing at it. I can remember not too long ago when she would only watch something if it was animated. She is entering a new era where she can enjoy sitcoms with people. We watched a bunch of episodes from season 5 and season 1. After a while I could not take it anymore so we just got on the internet and Sara was doing the ‘cartoon network’ site. She was playing checkers on the site and she found a ‘Fosters Home For Imaginary Friends’ DVD that she wanted. We also worked on re-formating her iPod and she was choosing which songs that she wanted on it. She was choosing Puffy AmiYumi, Shonen Knife, and Yukari Fresh songs. She was playing my guitar along with iTunes.

After she left I did some work around the house, and surfed youtube (mostly clammbon and judy and mary). I was saving a bunch of videos to my hard drive yesterday. That took hours and I was up late. I ordered the ‘Fosters’ DVD for Sara from amazon. It won’t ship until March however, it’s not really out yet. It was a very quiet Sunday. It was very cold out. It was a great day. I got stuff done around here and I spent a bunch of time with Sara. Oh, and I also watched ‘Goodfellas’. Naturally, that is a great movie. I need to order that and the first Rocky from Amazon marketplace. Both of those have special edition bonus features that look great. Today is Sunday. I will do a bunch of insulating in the house. I need to go to Home Depot and give Sara her iPod later. I need to put some more songs on her iPod. No big plans for today. I am watching ‘Now You Know’ by Jeff Anderson. I won’t watch it all now, just checking out the beginning at the moment.

little duck gets some fishies

Last night after work I met Genie and Sara outside of Panera on Rt. 130. Sara had said she wanted to get a few fish for her fish tank. She had two fish and one died. She says that when fish die they just ‘disappear’. Genie must have flushed it when Sara was not looking. So we got her two white fish at Pet Smart. First we went to the Goodwill store on Rt. 206 to get some curtains for the upstairs. I just wanted thick curtains it did not matter what they looked like because they are not for my apartment. They just need to insulate and I wanted to get them cheap because I need many for all the windows. I got a good set for one window for $9. Sara found a new Hello Kitty soap dispenser so I got that for her. We went to Wendy’s after we got the fish and we ate some stuff with the fish on the table. It was too cold to keep the fish in the car. It has been freezing cold for the last few days. I mean, seriously cold. Sara wanted to throw the tennis balls against the walls like we usually do, but it was way too cold. She was sad that we could not throw the balls. I felt bad about that.

When I got home I called her and she had put the fish in the tank. She said ‘The fish just stay in one spot’.  I started watching ‘True Romance’ and fell asleep.

This morning I went to LabCorp to give blood for my physical. It was crowded and I had to wait for about 45 minutes. I was reading Henry Rollins’ ‘Do I Come Here Often (Black Coffee Blues pt.2)’. I read the first four or five chapters. I like his stuff. It is interesting to read his stuff from different periods in his life. Recently I went online and printed out a list of all his spoken and written stuff so that I can keep track of what I have and what I need. I have most of his spoken cd’s (maybe all of them) but some of them are old dubs and they are just thrown in with my pile of thousands of CD’s and un-organized.

This morning I finished watching ‘True Romance’ after I got back from giving blood. It is not bad, some funny scenes. James Gandolfini is in it. Strange to see Jim in a role other than Tony Soprano. After that I have been working around here on the insulating and doing laundry. I am now waiting for Genie and Sara to come over, we will get some food and work with her iPod and some other stuff.

j.a.m and akiko

Wednesday night I went to Sara’s winter concert at the school. It was nice. At first they had the ‘junior jazz band’. They played and it was cool because they could barely play. I really dig it when kids can barely play and they are trying to get through a show.
It reminds me of how it felt when I was starting out. I think it breeds a certain kind of tension that I enjoy. It’s also enjoyable to listen to people who can really play but they are also somewhat jaded sometimes and it’s cool to see the nervous kids play who are not jaded at all.
I remember the days of the sweaty palms. It brings me back to those times. After all the bands played the chorus came out and Sara was in it. It was a smaller group than I realized. They did some popular songs with the lyrics changed to humorus lyrics.

Sara was great. She tends to act out the words more than the other kids. Some kids dance around a bit, but Sara is pretty much still but she makes hand motions and ‘acts out’ some of the words. I never see the other kids do that. It would be nice to see her play an instrument in one of these shows.
I videotaped her performance. After the show she was really happy (and also happy to see me). We goofed around and joked and I said it would have been funny to have the Homer Simpson toy that says ‘boring’ to hit after the applause when the hall was silent. I said goodnight to her in the parking lot and she wanted ‘the great duck’ so the great duck said goodnight to her. She was awesome, as usual. I went home and insulated some windows and had a becks dark beer.

Thursday night (last night) I met with Kaye from the photographers meetup group. She started the ‘central NJ photographers’ meetup. It was only her and I that met at Panera. She has some good ideas and she is very motivated so it was cool to meet with her. I met with her at 7pm and we talked about stuff until about 8:30. I was impressed with her ideas and drive. I am going to go to one of her shoots at a junior boxing competition which should be interesting and a good learning experience. I really need to gain some more experience in some diverse shooting situations.
I talked to Sara on the phone after that and she was telling me about Cinderella 3 which is coming out soon. She told me about it and then said ‘Any questions or comments?’ I said ‘no’. I got her to do the ‘Three Pirates who do nothing’ routine on the phone again from Veggie Tales.

I am at work now, not sure what I will do tonight. I really should go get more curtains and insulating material and insulate the house more and do more work at home and on the computer. I also should replace both of my thermostats in my house. I have one which I did not install yet. I could buy another at home depot after work.

I recently started checking out some ‘Judy and Mary’ on youtube. It’s great stuff. I ordered two of their albums from Amazon and one from Ebay. I have much music coming soon (more Akiko Yano, Clammbon, Ikuko Harada.. etc..) Plus I ordered some books. Judy and Mary broke up about 5 or 6 years ago I think and now they are involved in various solo things. Yuki goes by the name YUKI on her solo stuff. I have seen here mentioned but did not realize until now that she was in Judy and Mary. They seem to have great songs, playing, singing and spirit. They also have great backing vocals (Listen to the song ‘Radio’). I need to keep saving videos from youtube before they go away (I am not sure they will, but who knows?). I have been listening to ‘Akiko Yano – Granola’ (Aka ‘Akiko Yano) over the last few day. What a great album! Akiko is an amazing talent. I was watching her on youtube today playing with another pianist. Really great stuff.

mean streets

Sunday I worked on insulating my house in the morning. I was installing a new kitchen door also. The door is plastic and it isolates the kitchen from the back room area.
It is a temporary door, but I had it laying around for at least a year so I finally installed it. It needed to be trimmed at the bottom so I did not get the whole thing installed.

At 11:30 I drove over to Johnny’s to meet Dave and have a jam session. I was just not in a great mood for some reason. I think it was because I missed Sara and I just was in an ‘off’ mood.
we played and I was not really into it. I tried my best to get the vibe going, but I could not get a good feeling from playing. My mind was somewhere else and I felt groggy. We played a bunch of songs but I could not hear my voice over the electric amps and drums.

I did not sing half of the time because it is not fun for me to sing when I can’t hear myself. We played for about an hour and went through a lot of songs. Johnny did not have the DAT setup so we did not record it. We played ‘Born To Lose’ by Johnny Thunders and ‘Gearbox’ and ‘Son Of A Gun’ and a bunch others.
I played John’s blue telecaster again. I am not sure if I will buy it from him someday soon or not. It plays nice. I could not get in an inspired mood. But I kept my spirits up and tried to remain in a positive mood to the others but I just was not plugged into the vibe and I thought my playing kind of sucked because of it.
I probably played OK, but not as good as I usually do. I was hungry by the time we finished up (1:30pm) so I stopped for some Chinese food on the way home. I watched Jackass 2 while eating (those guys are crazy) and then I took a nap. I got up and worked more on insulating my windows. Then Genie called and she was taking Sara to her Girl Scout meeting at the ‘little red schoolhouse’ in Washington Twp.

I went to the schoolhouse at around 6pm and Sara was getting done. I found a lady bug in the schoolhouse and Sara was playing with it for about 15 minutes. We went to Home Depot after that and then to Wendys to eat something. Sara wanted to throw the tennis balls against the wall of Home Depot but it was too cold. We ate and tried to hook up her iPod to my laptop but it did not work (probably because I was using firewire vs. USB).

I brought Sara back to her car at Home Depot and we tossed the tennis ball around in the parking lot. I went home and finished putting the door in using the hacksaw that I bought at Home Depot. I also insulated another window. I have a lot more insulating to do but I am on a roll. I have to do the upstairs also and I need more curtains for up there also.
I was watching ‘The Electrifing Conclusion’ DVD by GBV in the background. Eventually I fell asleep on the couch. This morning I did not want to wake up.

Last night (Mon night) I was watching ‘Mean Streets’. It is an early Martin Scorsese movie. It is not his first, but it is one of them. It is probably his first ‘fully realized’ movie. It is his first movie with a budget is another way to put it. Even though it was shoot cheaply in his old neighborhood in little Italy, NYC (some interiors were also shoot in L.A). I was listening to the commentary track which is really good. It is Marty and the woman who played Theresa (Amy Robinson). I was surprised to learn on the commentary that Amy was from Trenton NJ. She mentions Trenton twice in the commentary. She also wrote and produced ‘Baby It’s You’ which takes place in NJ (possibly Trenton?). I was looking for that movie on DVD but I don’t think it’s available yet. I remember Skip used to say it was his favorite movie. I remember liking it a lot when I saw it over ten years ago.

Later I went to Home Depot and Shop Rite and I was talking to Sara on my cell phone the whole time since I left my house until I got back to my house. Sara was singing songs to me that she learned. She sounded great. she was singing a song called ‘Mother’ from a Chipmunks DVD. She said it’s a different song than the one that Puffy sings. “It’s not Japanese” she said.

She said she wants me to find these songs to put on her iPod. So we talked for a long time (over 40 minutes) and after she sang about three whole songs to me she was reading to me from a Snoppy book that I got her for Christmas. One of the funny lines that we kept repeating to each other was ‘You can criticize me all you want but don’t mess with my food life!’ I told Sara that was the funniest one and she kept saying it to me. I fell asleep pretty early after that.
This morning I set my alarm off while putting out the trash. I had Paul Westerburg ‘Folker’ playing loud and I did not hear the alarm and then I missed the call from the alarm company so by the time they got through to me they said the police were on the way. So they called the police back and told them it was a false alarm.

on the floor of the bookstore

Humor is the key to it all

I love to write. I love music. I love my family. I like hot tea. I love humor. I love photography. I love to read. Sleep is good. A good bookstore is good. I have been writing my blog just about every day.

I am sitting on the floor at Barnes and Noble. They are remodeling the cafe and there is nowhere to sit with coffee so I did not get any. I am more in the mood for some orange tea actually. I think I will get some if I can find a seat, but I don’t think the seats will become available. The panera is closed already. It’s 9:40pm.

Last night I went over to Mike’s with guitars. I played but Mike didn’t. I had to make an effort to hang with Mike. He does not make the effort. I doubt we will hang out much more. Anything that we had in common is in the past. We don’t hang out in person together very well. We have different styles. I don’t think he interacts much with people outside of his job.

I don’t think I’ll write much. I don’t like sitting on the floor, but there is an outlet nearby so I can charge my mac. I spent today bringing my computer into the house and setting it up in the living room. I did not get much else done. Sara and Genie came over around 2pm and we got some food and watched the Simpsons ‘Lisa’s Sax’ episode which is a great episode. Last night I was telling her all about it on the phone and she was really interested. She kept asking ‘What happens next?’ and I kept telling her. We also watched some of the ‘Homer vs. the city of NY’ episode. Season 9 is great so far. I love the idea that there is a lot of Simpsons that I have not seen yet. I imagine that season 10 will come out this year and of course the Simpsons movie this summer.

I am not the happiest person in the world right now. Genie and Sara did not even call me back after they went to dinner tonight. I am guessing that they fell asleep early. Still, I wish I could have talked to her. I don’t like it when I can’t say goodnight to her. I am really in the mood for my tea now so I think I will make my way over to the temporary cafe area..

I am back with my tea. It is good. I took a nap today so I am just kind of relaxed and actually still groggy. There are all kinds of people here at Barnes and Noble. I am seated near the photography section. The macbook is a good fit on my lap. I like the design of this thing. Tomorrow I am supposed to jam with Dave Brown. Cool, later, out.

back at panera (again)

Last night after work I came home and found that the Henry Rollins CD ‘Everything’ had arrived. I also received the ‘Clerks 2′ DVD. I went to Johnny’s and we had an acoustic jam. Before that I set up my macbook to publish to my site through Dreamweaver. It was easy but I forgot my password so I had to figure it out. The acoustic jam at Johnny’s was cool but I want an electric band again. It is pretty hard to get guys who want to play, especially since I need to choose and write the songs. After playing with John I went to Barnes and Noble to work on the macbook. They are re-modeling the cafe. I did not stay long. I talked to Sara on the phone on the way to John’s. She was happy, not much new.

Tonight (Thurs 1/18) I went to Genie’s after work to get the DVD to return to Hollywood video and we took a ride with Sara to the bakery on Quakerbridge Road to get a cake for Genie’s mom’s birthday. Sara was tired and cranky. She slept for most of the trip. When we got back to the house she woke up and she was happy. We played for about 15 minutes inside the doorway on the stairs but she had homework to do. She fell behind a little bit with the flute in school but I don’t think it’s such a big deal. She wanted to play some Star Wars Xbox but Genie wanted her to start homework right away so she cried a little bit because she couldn’t play with daddy. So I came here to Panera on Rt. 130. I need to find out how to unlock Sara’s iPod (she locked it and forgot the combo). I will find that out online now. I have a nice seat near the fireplace here and it is making me very warm, it feels great because it got cold outside (now it’s cold and wet because it was snowing today). Today was the most snow we have seen yet this season. It was very cold yesterday. Today was cold also, but less windy so I was able to walk over to Acme at lunchtime and get my salad. I am listening to Clammbon in the phones. I stopped in Barnes and Noble before here and looked at a ‘History of Les Paul’ guitar book.

Also received in the mail this week: CD’s of GBV Mag Earwhig and Elton John Honky Chateau and Netfilx DVD’s of ‘Mean Streets’, ‘Jackass Number Two’ and the Simpsons season 9 disc one (totally digging the Simpsons season 9, I have seen all the episodes up to these, but these are new viewing to me).

beginning months of 2006 (looking back at one year ago)

I was with Sara on New Years eve for the ball drop at Sara’s house. She was still happy from a great Christmas. As the new year began I was looking for a new job. I was teaching guitar at Farringtons in Princeton and I had stopped working for Tom Peterson. I was only teaching guitar part time and I was getting ready to apply for some jobs. I was also getting my Photography business together and getting ready to go pro with that. Dave Fetterolf called and told me that Lockheed was probably going to call me back. Sure enough, after a week or two I got the call around the second week of January. I registered my business name ‘Dignan Photography’ with the state while I still had time during the day. I accepted the offer to go back to Lockheed and I set a start date for March 13, 2006. I had mixed feelings about going back. The money was good but I wanted to start new things and I knew it was going to take a lot of my good energy. I was told that it might be a temporary thing. They were not sure how long the work would last. I figured that was ok and plus, my time would bridge and I would start with vacation time and all my other benefits bridged from before.

Ed Wilson was to move in starting Feb 1st and he did. So during January I was working on the upstairs apartment. He was helping me also. We spent many days and nights working up there and also down in my apartment. We also spent time running around to Home Depot and Lowes to get supplies. He was able to help me with his van. We ate at some buffets and bonded as friends. He was getting his divorce and he was always telling me the details of what he was going through.

hazelnut blend

Tuesday night, back at Panera. Just went to Target right from work. I needed to run some errands so I just came from work and I wanted to stop here and get some hazelnut blend. I will try to do a lot of computing away from my desk at home to keep from using the electric heater. I need to get my utilities bill lower. I will move my computer into the house this weekend. My desk is currently in the back porch area and it gets cold out there. It has not been freezing cold yet this season but tonight it feels much colder than it has been. It was warm this morning but I think the temperature is finally going to drop low. I will not stay long, I still need to go to Best Buy and the library and also to find some curtains to help insulate some of the rooms upstairs.

Last night I jammed with Dave Brown. It was cool. I don’t think Dave has the drive or energy to do a lot of music with me. But we will continue to get together once in a while and play and work on stuff. He is not very good at returning calls sometimes and he can be undependable. But I like playing with him. We played acoustics in his kitchen and I was singing through a lot of songs and showing him the changes. I don’t think I will spend much time showing him songs though because I don’t think he will be able to do enough playing. After jamming acoustic we went down into his basement and I played some drums and bass. He has my Pet Sounds CD and one or two others that I forgot at the moment. I imagine that he will dig Pet Sounds.

So, I need to insulate my house better. That is the big goal for the week. Also I want to start my retro blogs, looking back on the beginning of this year and then back into past years like an autobiography. Out.